When I saw your email, I read it aloud to the guys at the dinner table. You can bet we'll pray for you! The Lord will give you wisdom, a 'sense' of what is right for you to do. I hate it when it's not loud and clear with loads of time to spare. He tends to wait until the 11th hour to open and shut the doors. Keeps us leaning on him I suppose. When you put your immediate feelings of these BAD CHINA DAYS aside, do you still have a vision of long range hopes and dreams? Do you have some tiny little sense of call toward something (besides just running away?). You know, I've brought the WAKING THE DEAD book and guidebook for myself this year. I'm not much of an advisor, since I'm in a season of life where I feel that I'm "along for the ride, so I'll just make the most of it with the options I know of" mode.
But, maybe the timing of my reading your email has a little nugget of direction in it for you. This is what was happening when I read it.
Tyler was sitting at our dinner table telling his athlete tales about his making it through to Thursday of football 2-a-day practices called "Hell week". Before this week started, most of the rest of the boys were in the summer conditioning program. Tyler had missed most of it because of our 4 week road trip. He was feeling scared that the others have all played before and have gotten in such better shape while he was away.
He told us the way he was mentally getting through: He thought about the individual exercise at hand and tried not to think too far ahead. He said he needed to just focus on getting through that and then worry about the next one. Don't think about the practice later that day, or how many days to go. If he didn't focus on the hard part right in front of him, he'd have lost heart. He told us he's been quoting scripture to himself: Isaiah 40, Proverbs 21:31. Praying for strength along the way.
The team started the week with more kids than uniforms - 65 - on the team. At the end of this afternoon's practice, they've lost 1/3 of the guys. We wondered how many of those guys had working parents, or little encouragement from home to stick with it. I've pumped calories and good healthy food into him all week, massaged his legs with tiger balm, prayed over him...he's really gotten a lot of tlc this week. He's hobbling around like a 90 year old man, but he's blossoming into a man of confidence and strength before our eyes this week. It's
One time this week, when I told Tyler how proud I was for him to keep at it, I told him I believed he had what it takes, he said, "Well, thanks mom. I'm glad you have faith in me, 'cause I'm not a confident in me as you are in me!"
It's not just that he merely wants to play football. He wants to play quarterback (the brains and the leader of the team when they're out on playing the field). All through the summer he's stood tall and confidently told people that's the position he's going to play. Jim and I inside are wondering, "Are we encouraging him to overreach??" "Are we setting him up for failure or heartbreak?" There are about 4 boys older than him who are also going to play the position. He's wavered thinking about it through the summer, "Am I not being realistic? Should I go for one of the other positions so that I'd have a better shot at being successful?...At getting a chance to play? ...At not making a fool of myself?"
And I think about that scene in PURSUIT OF HAPPYNESS when will smith's character tries to give his little son a dose of reality about his future playing pro basketball...and TOTALLY deflates him. But then Dad rebounds with a speech to him about NEVER letting anyone talk you out of your dream.
So I've said more than once, "Tyler, if you want to play quarterback, then stick with it. You never know how it's going to turn out. If you've got a dream, and you know it's your heart's desire, don't give up on it unless GOD himself closes the door."
(and then I have to pray that God's plan is to not close the door by allowing an INJURY!).
He's heading off to bathe now. Repeating hIs news today from the coach: in their last full day of the week tomorrow, he'll definitely be playing "scout quarterback" for the defensive teams. He's psyched! I even detect a little bounce in his hobble!
Lord,
I pray for Sally and Franklin right now before sending this.
Wrap them in your loving presence and as they rise on a new day there, I beg you to raise their hope and hearts with the rising sun.
They need your wisdom and direction, and from over here in California, I know you listen to my requests for them on the other side of the world: Bless them today with your favour and give them signs of what their next steps need to be. If there is any sin or attitudes that are keeping them from hearing your or abiding in you, I pray that you'll lovingly correct them and accept their repentance so that they can walk in the fullness of your Holy Spirit with eyes that see themselvees and the world around them the way that you do. I continue to pray for you to give Sally's heart a sense of call, guard her from the ways that the Enemy wants to steal her joy or lie to her about who she is and what her purpose is. I pray these things knowing that it is your will. I love them Lord, and I know you love them even more.
AMEN.
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